ok, so my heart just drove down the street. all three of them. they packed late last night and after two weeks of three-year-old bedtime tantrums, playful bath times, thomas the tank train running down the hall and into the living room, picking favorite ornaments off the tree and carrying them around in the trunk of the trike, curious george movies early in the morning with gram before anyone else is up, walks around the block, planting and watering flowers, filling the birdfeeder with granpa, making "dough" with flour, water, cinnamon, chili powder, cumin, garlic salt and then calling it apple pie, making biscuits with granpa on saturday mornings, jumping on gram's bed when she pretended not to look, driving to plano to look at cmas lights that dance to music and then just wanting to come back to the "hood" and watch the simple little train go round and round in a neighbor's yard......

....i could go on and on. now the house is clean and quiet. the only sound is the tick of the wall clock - so loud it hurts my ears. it will be a long time before they come back. we will get out there occasionally but the intensity of two weeks makes their leaving even more difficult.

i know the healing has already begun and i know our daughter is strong and determined underneath her confusion and questioning. i know her spirit is strong even though it feels weak right now. i know her God will take care of her, even though we don't know what that looks like or what that portends.

hearts hurt. hearts break.

and hearts drive out of the driveway and down the highway at 9:30 in the morning.

Godspeed. And keep you safe.