this is how it works. once you connect with a tragedy exposed on-line in the blogger world, soon you see another story posted and you check that one out. after awhile you begin to know that family's personal hell as you become familiar with their journey through grief. after a while, someone posts of another suffering family. before you realize it you have bookmarked dozens of blogsites to "check in on" daily. i found yet another one today of a precious, beautiful three-year-old who drowned.
i don't think i can do this anymore. it is becoming such a major part of my life that i feel surrounded by darkness and sadness and dashed hopes. i know God is there in the middle of all of these posts and there is much growth occuring in all of these situations BUT i don't feel like it is healthy for me to be as consumed by the tragedies of others as i appear to be.
some of the sites i first visited i feel connected to and probably can't abandon. but my word, it goes on and on and on and there are more and more and more and i just don't think i can do it.
4 comments:
(((jan)))
On this side of heaven, I don't think it will stop...not yet anyway. Which is why I long for heaven so much...I long for the rest, the joy, the comfort.
Until then, thank goodness we have each other to lean on. As weird as it sounds, since I have never met your sweet daughter and I've only spoken a few whispers with you, I can't do this journey without y'all. I can't. You guys keep me propped up on some days when I feel like giving up.
Don't I know it. I limit myself on how many I will check out or actually follow. You have to take care of yourself too. And it can be overwhelming.
Big hugs, Jan. His grace is sufficient. Do whatever your heart needs to do to heal, so long as you are real and seeking God. Only you can decide the steps you take and what you allow in your heart and mind, sweet friend. When it becomes too much, it's just too much. And that's okay. ;) I am honored that you have been able to come into my life and bless me as you have, in spite of your pain, though! ;)
i do have to say, had you not journeyed to so many of these sites last year, i would not have met my emily, my rachel, my andi, and many many more who have come into my life, my heart and my pain and held me so delicately with compassion and empathy and support. there is a purpose...but maybe limiting for now, might be a good idea for both of us...it can seem overwhelming but it also reminds me to appreciate what i do have bc you never know...but i am very thankful for you finding our new friends, though scattered so beautifully across the country but very near in heart it seems....
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