Tuesday, April 15, 2008

the high cost of filling up the tank....

i have been thinking about my daughter (i never stop thinking about her, really). throughout the last few months of reading blogs, i notice that rarely, if at all, do grandparents make comments. do they read their adult childrens' blogs? are they familiar with the blog world? or do they, as mentioned in cfhusband's blog, have full lives of their own - so much so that they don't have time to be part of the blogworld?

i love my job - it hardly feels like a job. i love the people i work with and i love the children - i am attached. aside from that small part of my week, it is pretty much internet, tv and sleep. when i am with my adult children there is conversation, busyness and keeping up with grandkids - but those times are scattered and occasional.

my question to myself is "what fills a life" ? i drive by the park by our house and see little boys at t-ball practice or soccer practice; i drive by the elementary school and see brownie scouts gathering for a weekend campout. i drive by the high school and see middle schoolers readying for a trackmeet. that used to fill my life. what now? what do i do with these last twenty or so years of my life? years i thought would be constant with family?

sometimes i feel like moving far away and saturating myself in missions. but my motive for that should be to glorify God - not "fill my life".

my tank feels empty. how do i fill it up?


5 comments:

Chelle said...

Sometimes it takes an "empty tank" to make us get out of our comfort car and walk and enjoy the "little things".
Wishing you a "full tank"! Let's ride~

redbyrd said...

look to the person drinking coffee with you in the morning and start there....this is ya'lls time together, now, just the two of you again....and it should be a journey together...i pray that fills your life as well.

Gram said...

you're preachin' to the choir! men and women react to grief differently and they react to 'empty nest' differently....things to work on! :)
(never can figure out if i'm supposed to comment to a comment on MY blog or on the commenter's blog :)

Cliff said...

You comment on your blog when you feel necessary to do so.

You comment on other's blogs when you want to recognize their writing and to say thank you for coming over to yours.

Blogging will help fill the tank, especially if you can help others with it. You'll fine it fun interacting with others that, in times past, you wouldn't have. You have something to offer and if you go around visiting, you will find people willing to reeive what you offer.

BTW, I came here via Chelle's blog.

~The Neaves Nest~ said...

very thought provoking...praying you will always have a full tank:-)