just give me a minute....

i was helping out in a class today and one of the three-year-olds had a meltdown. i mean a serious meltdown. that was why i was in the class. in anticipation of her daily meltdown. she fell apart and laid down on the floor beside the cabinets and kicked her feet and screamed and cried and yelled. loudly. whenever another child would approach she would yell a bloodcurdling yell and scream at the child to leave her alone! she screamed for her mama and her daddy and her granma and anyone else she could think of who might rescue her. the teacher quietly ushered the rest of the students from the room and i stayed behind. after a few words offered in a quiet voice, i finally convinced her get off the floor and pull herself together and rejoin her class in the hall.

i came home thinking that sometimes i want to do just what this little girl did. and i'm sure my daughter feels the same. that mentality of wanting what you want when you want it. and if you don't get it you stomp your feet, scream at the top of your lungs and lay down on the floor and flail and strike out at anyone who doesn't get it and tries to talk you out of your tantrum.

i so want things to be different for my daughter. i still want what i want. and i want it for her. and sometimes when it hits me in the middle of my daily routine that it isn't to be, i want to drop to the floor and have my tantrum right in the middle of carpool. and if i thought it would work, i'd do it. man, would i.