so, if you look at alyssa's blog (and who reads mine that doesn't read hers as well:)) you will see that her community of friends has been blessed with a new arrival. if only for a short time, this baby will bless rachel and her family as well as their extended church family.
the first thoughts that came to mind when alyssa shared this news with me were wonder, amazement, faithfulness. alyssa writes much more eloquently from a spiritual standpoint than i ever could. and i know that God has used her and her words to help others. it has been and continues to be a long road for her and ian. she emailed me one day and was at a very low point; she realized that all 5 of the women with whom she has developed a relationship with through internet blogs - women who have all lost babies in the last year and a half - are pregnant. while she harbors not one ounce of resentment, bitterness or jealousy, she still doesn't understand why she still waits. you might think it silly to call an internet friend a 'relational' friend but these young, christian women have bonded in ways that you and i could never understand. having never physically met, they have cried together, laughed together and appreciated the depths of feelings that comes from such loss.
i had begun to read several of their blogs months before alyssa's loss; i found one through a friend and that one led to another and that one to another. i had absolutely no idea that some day, alyssa would have the same experience and under no circumstances would i ever have guessed that she would become friends with these women because of my urging her to read their blogs. as i read their blogs now, it is apparent that the losses they've experienced are still raw but the tone of their blogs is happier, more hopeful and less "dark". i so want that for alyssa.
but as is alyssa's way, she picks herself up and keeps on - obedient, faithful and hopeful. the miscarriage she experienced in november was unexpected - she had never had a miscarriage. even more difficult to accept was the fact that her 2 best friends also experienced miscarriages the same month. it seemed that the three girls who walked together, prayed together, had playdates together and went to church together would go through miscarriage - together. in some way it was comforting to be going through yet another loss - not alone.
when matt came unexpectedly into rachel and stefan's lives, it was obvious that they would welcome help in the way of prayer support, babysitting and just general emotional support. accepting guardianship of a terminally ill baby requires a compassionate, merciful heart, to say nothing of time and energy. and rachel has 2 older children who are around 3 and 5 years old.
God certainly orchestrates our lives in ways we could never imagine or predict. He is the conductor and we are called to play the tune HE chooses under HIS circumstances. I know the hearts of my daughter and Amy and am coming to know Rachel's heart. I view these three young women - whose wombs held the promise of 3 sweet lives for just a few weeks but are now empty - as God's hands and feet and hearts to take care of 'the least of these'. together they grieved the loss of their pregnancies not imagining how God would fill their lives with something even more amazing just a few weeks later.
i can see amy the photographer bustling over matt to get just the right picture for keepsake albums; i can see alyssa the creative decorator making sure that he has precious little boy bedding and a hand-made frame with his new born picture it to place amonth the family photos. i can see rachel rocking matt at night and talking to her children about the plan Jesus had for Matt all along. i can see all three at lunch while the children play outside, hovering over Matt, showing him Christ's unconditional love and blessing his short time here in their midst.
man, we can't ever figure out God, can we? we can study and pray and learn more and more about His nature and we can continue to ask questions that have no answers. and then He surprises us with a song so unique and original that it silences us.
no, not a song...a symphony!
